Well I finally had our darling princess on Sunday Sept. 5th 2010, at 10:42 pm. Life threw a curve ball at me with this little drama queen though. Since 33 weeks pregnant I have been struggling with “preterm labor”, contractions, full blown soreness, pre-eclampsia scare, and now…I had to be induced for…YEP pre-eclampsia. I went in on sunday because I thought my water had been leaking and I was running a fever, which made me fear infection. Much to my surprise it was not my water that had caused issues it was the dreadful pre eclampsia showing up finally. So at 630pm I get told that Im going to be induced and have my baby soon. I went in at 4cm, 90% effaced, and station -2. By time my friend Nicole made it to the hospital after getting the kiddos to their grandmas I was still 4cm but they were starting ONLY a small dose of pitocin as I was already having contractions. Not long after that I was 6 cm and then asked for an epidural as the pain and high blood pressure was too much for me to handle. After getting the epidural I opened to 7 and asked the doc to break my water as I knew it would be only a matter of minutes after that. Which I was right it was about 15 minutes after breaking my water that I could feel her head coming down the birth canal. This was it I was soon going to meet my princess. I breathed through 2 contractions and out came her head then a tiny push and there she was! They laid her on my belly and both of us wept. My glorious little angel that I had tried to reason with for so many weeks had finally made it into the world in her very own way. I nursed her quickly and then things turned. She stopped breathing and turned purple. They tried to get her to respond but had to give her oxygen. Thankfully they allowed me to give her a kiss before taking her off to NICU. Once I was cleaned up and able to plop into a wheel chair they took me to see her. She was doing ok but not ideal. I tried to nurse her again but only to watch her forget to breathe again. This happened only a few more times. Monday morning at 5am would be her last time having a breathing episode. My darling girl was allowed back in my room monday night :). Tuesday night they were going to release us but I had started having high blood pressure again and was kept over night to see how some medication would help. It helped me so we were released wednesday morning.
Even though my plan was to birth at home unassisted for so many many months I am very happy with my birthing experience even though there was medical intervention. My case was one of many where mothers and babies TRULY need doctors and medicine. If I had been stubborn and not listened to what my body was telling me we could both be very very sick and possibly I could have lost my daughter. Im so very thankful that God gave me great instincts and has taught me to listen to my body very attentively.
Here we are nursing for the first time after birth…
After 4 weeks of what doctors like to call preterm labor…My body has calmed down and my darling princess has nestled in for a little bit longer. Now as I look back on our trecherous “adventures” that we went through the last four weeks I wonder if any of it was necessary?? She is in posterior position. Which both of my boys were as well. Well im wondering if this “preterm labor” these doctors freak about and then my children decide to wait til full term, is JUST preparation. Posterior labors are often known to be much more strenuous and long. Perhaps my body just gets an early start so I do not have to do all the work at once? This is what I think is happening. I do not feel that any of the medication was really necessary now that I look back on it. However, in the moment I was scared for my darling tiny baby. Im so glad that contractions have slowed down and nearly stopped. I only have a few belly tightening cramps now, which is much easier to deal with.
Now as my darling daughter and I go into our next phase of not waiting but preparing for our wonderful meeting, Im so entrigued to meet her and have that journey together called “labor”. I think that birth should be renamed. The word labor definitely has a negative connotation I think. But anyways. My visions of an unassisted homebirth become clear once again. I envision birthing her late in the evening after R has already been moved from his bed to mine. Dealing calmly and peacefully with every contraction there on the bed beside my peacefully sleeping boy until I feel the need to throw up which tells me Im in transition. Then to birth her over a blanket placed on the floor next to the bed. Followed by checking her and I over in the bath and washing off. Then returning to bed to nurse her back to sleep. Ideally never waking R. I know this is probably NOT going to happen in this way but it is very very nice to dream about :D. The next few weeks will be spent getting everything in order for her and my family. My house needs some serious recovery from 4 weeks of bedrest/labor. Plus I need to get my van running again and car seats all installed. Lots to do and glad she is being ever so patient now. Hoping to, no GOING to enjoy the next few weeks patiently waiting to meet my wonderful princess!
The final nesting stage has hit and Im so excited! Now that Im out of the clear with all the preterm labor crap and scares I can clean til my little heart is content. As most of you know I moved into my new apartment in April. And by the looks of it you would swear I just moved in a week ago which must have been the same time that random hurricane hit in PHOENIX! lol Cause it seriously looks like boxes and stuff magically landed EVERYWHERE throughout the apartment. My main goal is to get ALL the trash and unnecessary crap out of my house and into the garbage dumpsters. Then I want to wash ALL my laundry and fold and put into dressers or put into a cubby for storage. After that its going through the boxes that have taken over my room and completely taken my wonderfully large closet hostage! Then I think I will tackle the easier tasks, like going through the kids’ toys, clothes, etc. This all does not exclude the scrubbing of every inch of the house and vacuuming so much my neighbors start to complain 😉 Must get everything ready for my little princess to arrive. Im hoping thats why she has only teased me into thinking she’s coming instead of actually showing up early 😀 Im kind of hoping she’ll be fashionably late so I dont have to do this all in 3 weeks lol.
Unusual cleaning tasks I am looking forward to:
Cleaning the shower curtains
and…Im sure I’ll think of more 😀
R finally nursed enough to empty one of my breasts a few days ago! As well as, doing away with his pacifier. He just up and decided he didnt want his pacifier anymore and asked for mommy milk and that was that. He hasnt asked for his pacifier since 🙂 He also nursed one more time since then. It was on and off for a few hours while we laid in bed watching Heroes. Im so glad that I decided to try to re-nurse. So many people told me it wouldnt be possible after such a long period of time. But here we are!! So if any of you ladies out there are thinking about it you should DEFINITELY go for it. The journey is amazing if you allow it to be. Many people stress about supply first. I decided to focus more on him bonding with the breasts. Suckling will help to increase supply as well. When baby/toddler first latches on and starts showing more interest THEN start taking the herbs, tea, and pumping. Otherwise you will get a supply established and your toddler might not be interested. If you are just wanting to pump the milk and get them on that in a cup until they are ready to nurse then that will work as well 🙂 But if you are wanting to do the actual nursing then I recommend re introducing your child to your breasts. Its an amazing bond and it feels so loving to have them all cuddled up next to your heart and getting love and nourishment all at the same time! Im hoping he will nurse more often once the baby is born but who knows. We’ll see. If not then at least I will be able to pump and store some milk for him.
If anyone has any questions on how to restart a toddler please contact me and I would love to share my resources!
I want to get as close as possible I guess…I feel so much desire to change…to do MORE…Part of me reminds myself to be content with what I have, the other part says do not settle, move forward, evolve, adapt…How do I do that? How do I achieve all that I want to on my own? I read homemaking and homeschooling blogs and a lot of times they leave me feeling empty and guilty instead of inspired. I know whats in my heart. I know what NEEDS to be done with myself, my children, and my home. BUT how am I to accomplish all of that alone? With my husband gone I act as a single mother. Granted I do not have the struggle of working outside the home THANK GOD! But I do have the struggle of a 5 year old with emotional issues, a near 2 year old, and then a new baby on the way. Not to mention housework and playing mommy and daddy everyday. How does one conquer it all? And on top of this I also attend online school. Which I must say I mostly dread and honestly Im not doing well at all and questioning why Im doing it in the first place. My heart so desires to spend every day wrapped up in my children and homemaking duties. Which usually it is…well when I physically can. Right now the pregnancy is taking its toll on me and leaving my spirit beaten and bruised. Not to mention the days are nearing closer and closer to which Im supposed to send my oldest to public school. Something I swore Id never do. It doesnt feel right in any aspect. So now I have this internal conflict. Am I sending him because its what is best for everyone involved, even him? Or am I just not motivated enough and finding myself lazy and selfish and pushing my responsibility as a parent off on people I dont even know? Oh how my heart is weaping lately. All I want is the best for my children. Is that too much to ask? But how oh how do I juggle it all? How do I muster up the strength and ability to play all the roles to my children? I rarely desire time alone, I do not send my kids away, but yet…here I am feeling guilty. I do not feel like Im doing enough…yet I do not know how to muster up the “STUFF” to do want I KNOW I NEED to do for them.
R is doing very well with establishing a bond with the boobies 🙂 He is getting much more comfortable with popping on and off of my nipples. He has only tried to suck once and has only had a fresh drop of colostrum once. Im still trying to locate my pump to be able to pump milk and get him used to the taste. But right now im more concerned with getting him comfortable with the act and closeness of breastfeeding. Today he totally shocked me! I was sitting down going pee when he came into the bathroom, lifted my shirt popped on and off of both breasts and then said thank you, put my shirt back down, and ran off. It was SO wonderful! I had not even mentioned mommy milk yet today 🙂 He has been open to them much more today. I cant tell you how many times he made his attempts. As I put him to bed I said “say night night to boobies” He laid his head on each on saying “nigh nigh boobie” then latched on and off and then said night night to mommy and laid down. It brings me so much joy to see his comfort and enjoyment. Its nice to be gaining back the closeness. We have always had a wonderful relationship but this is such a different kind of closeness.
As far as milk production goes. I dont believe I will have a problem once I start pumping. Im taking nettle 2 pills 3x a day and drinking raspberry tea and mothers milk. Rumor is that fenugreek is NOT recommended during pregnancy but mothers milk has such a small amount that Im going to see how it goes with just drinking one cup every few days. You can also take marshmallow pills while pregnant to help increase supply. OH! Of course oatmeal too! Im going to start the oatmeal soon. Perhaps tonight. Im not a fan of it but willing to do it to help get a supply going. If you have any questions about relactation or nursing while pregnant please feel free to comment 🙂
Not a personal picture but an image I came across that I found absolutely beautiful!
Recently I have decided to re-lactate to nurse R who is now 19 months. The reason I started to think about it was because of his allergy to dairy and soy. The alternatives are very expensive! I jokingly said to a friend and hubby that I wished I could just nurse him. Then I thought, “well why not?!” SO here we are day 4…I think. Since I am pregnant it is MUCH more of a challenge to get up my supply than if I weren’t pregnant. However that is still only HALF the battle. R hasnt nursed since he was 5.5 months so its been quite sometime and he is a tiny bit weirded out. He tried to latch a few weeks ago when I told him there was milk in there for sissy. Unfortunately I had told him no 😦 So now he is a bit confused. Although, we have had a few times of him putting his mouth to the nipple and of course PLENTY of biting! OUCH! Im hoping to locate my pump this weekend to show him milk does indeed come out of mommys boobies. Im really really excited to be on this journey with him. He is being more cuddly and touchy and its so nice to feel him starting to rebond…not that we didnt have a great bond already..its just different while you are nursing i guess. I hope to be able to tandem nurse him and sissy together! Well I’ll update soon! If you have any questions please feel free to comment 🙂