Category Archives: Parenting

Memoirs of a Stay at Home Mom…Imperfection


Early mornings have never been my “thing”. So when my two boys rise before 9am my body completely goes into monster mode. After a few unnecessary bursts of anger and prayers for patience, momma is up and dragging herself into the start of her day. Im not sure how other households work first thing in the morning but I know for us, especially school days, mornings are a four letter word. First begins the arguments of breakfast, clothes, or who is making it to the hallway bathroom first. My oldest thankfully wears a uniform to school but the 3 year old gets a choice for preschool. Then its on to the babies(girls). What to dress them in, how is the weather, and whose diaper is worse?? Very rarely do we make it to school on time. Try as I do to get them all wrangled and out the door on time, it never quite works that way. Mornings as hectic as they are do gear me up for an adventurous day. Most of the time it leads to me and the girls running errands, going to check ups, cleaning, and rarely RELAXING.  Our crazy moments mostly involve the boys being home. Four children versus mommy can be a nightmare!

Oh! I forgot to mention the most vital part of my existence missing…my husband. He is stationed in Germany and has entrusted me with the house, kids, pets, and finances. OH how God has given him the trust and patience of a saint! Never could I be so trusting. Nevertheless, it is me he leaves these precious responsibilities to tend to.

You know, for years I have attempted to be the “perfect” stay at home mom. However, if you walk into my house or even pass me in the store, you will see that my aura screams chaos and whimpers of “please God please get me through just this next hour.” For some reason, I think most moms feel this way too. None of us are perfect. Those fortunate enough to have OCD to keep their houses in order should REALLY learn how to “infect” the rest of us. My biggest challenge is organization. Well and I despise cleaning with all my heart and soul! I enjoy a clean house just as much as anyone, however, I would prefer to not be the one doing it. Why am I a stay at home mom then? Well, look at the title..MOM! I have plenty other titles that fit under that besides for housekeeper. I adore playing with my children, watching them learn, and being here for EVERY developmental milestone! I like knowing just what my kids are doing and learning. Yes I would LOVE to have the patience and organization skills to homeschool. Although I don’t think God is ready for me to do that yet, well its either him or my hubby. Learning to let go of the idea of perfection is the hardest part of being a stay at home mom. It completely trumps everything else. As I sit here late in the evening/early morning, I think of the mounds of laundry still haunting me, the dishwasher that needs emptying, the floors that need vacuumed, and the endless list of things that just MUST be done in order to move up on the list of perfection.

My life will never be perfect. My home will NEVER be spotless. I have 4 children and no help! I enjoy every part of my chaos but just remember…If you are sitting at home and thinking “there has to be SOME program/book/club/etc that can transform me into a PERFECT stay at home mom” well its just not so. Enjoy being a mom and then pick up the pieces of life along the way.


And on to Another Journey


As I struggle with a family of 3, being pregnant, AND being a military spouse, I now am on the journey to FOUR children on top of it all! I have yet to find a “routine” for cleaning that has worked for more than a few hours. YEP thats right a mere few hours! I cannot seem to keep myself motivated! Let alone my children who I feel are a correct age to be doing age appropriate chores. So now that this journey absolutely HAS to begin I figured I would let you in on what it is I am going to try. I failed terribly at FlyLady which I never really was a fan of in the first place, although I know it has been a miracle worker for many many women. I also attempted the Home Management Binder which was more successful than anything.

Yet, here I find myself buried in clothes, dishes, and miscellaneous items. Hoping to figure something out that can keep me from the MASS weekend cleanups!











Also, since I am organizing anyways and I absolutely LOVE couponing (yes my darling husband I used it as a verb!)..I will be sharing what I find to be the best deals going on in my area and just how it is I go about saving WITHOUT spending ALL my time clipping coupons.











Hope you enjoy the new journey and the continuation of my blog.

Finally over…


Well I finally had our darling princess on Sunday Sept. 5th 2010, at 10:42 pm. Life threw a curve ball at me with this little drama queen though. Since 33 weeks pregnant I have been struggling with “preterm labor”, contractions, full blown soreness, pre-eclampsia scare, and now…I had to be induced for…YEP pre-eclampsia. I went in on sunday because I thought my water had been leaking and I was running a fever, which made me fear infection. Much to my surprise it was not my water that had caused issues it was the dreadful pre eclampsia showing up finally. So at 630pm I get told that Im going to be induced and have my baby soon. I went in at 4cm, 90% effaced, and station -2. By time my friend Nicole made it to the hospital after getting the kiddos to their grandmas I was still 4cm but they were starting ONLY a small dose of pitocin as I was already having contractions. Not long after that I was 6 cm and then asked for an epidural as the pain and high blood pressure was too much for me to handle. After getting the epidural I opened to 7 and asked the doc to break my water as I knew it would be only a matter of minutes after that. Which I was right it was about 15 minutes after breaking my water that I could feel her head coming down the birth canal. This was it I was soon going to meet my princess. I breathed through 2 contractions and out came her head then a tiny push and there she was! They laid her on my belly and both of us wept. My glorious little angel that I had tried to reason with for so many weeks had finally made it into the world in her very own way. I nursed her quickly and then things turned. She stopped breathing and turned purple. They tried to get her to respond but had to give her oxygen. Thankfully they allowed me to give her a kiss before taking her off to NICU. Once I was cleaned up and able to plop into a wheel chair they took me to see her. She was doing ok but not ideal. I tried to nurse her again but only to watch her forget to breathe again. This happened only a few more times. Monday morning at 5am would be her last time having a breathing episode. My darling girl was allowed back in my room monday night :). Tuesday night they were going to release us but I had started having high blood pressure again and was kept over night to see how some medication would help. It helped me so we were released wednesday morning.

Even though my plan was to birth at home unassisted for so many many months I am very happy with my birthing experience even though there was medical intervention. My case was one of many where mothers and babies TRULY need doctors and medicine. If I had been stubborn and not listened to what my body was telling me we could both be very very sick and possibly I could have lost my daughter. Im so very thankful that God gave me great instincts and has taught me to listen to my body very attentively.

Here we are nursing for the first time after birth…

What is “preterm labor” REALLY??


After 4 weeks of what doctors like to call preterm labor…My body has calmed down and my darling princess has nestled in for a little bit longer. Now as I look back on our trecherous “adventures” that we went through the last four weeks I wonder if any of it was necessary?? She is in posterior position. Which both of my boys were as well. Well im wondering if this “preterm labor” these doctors freak about and then my children decide to wait til full term, is JUST preparation. Posterior labors are often known to be much more strenuous and long. Perhaps my body just gets an early start so I do not have to do all the work at once? This is what I think is happening. I do not feel that any of the medication was really necessary now that I look back on it. However, in the moment I was scared for my darling tiny baby. Im so glad that contractions have slowed down and nearly stopped. I only have a few belly tightening cramps now, which is much easier to deal with.

Now as my darling daughter and I go into our next phase of not waiting but preparing for our wonderful meeting, Im so entrigued to meet her and have that journey together called “labor”. I think that birth should be renamed. The word labor definitely has a negative connotation I think. But anyways. My visions of an unassisted homebirth become clear once again. I envision birthing her late in the evening after R has already been moved from his bed to mine. Dealing calmly and peacefully with every contraction there on the bed beside my peacefully sleeping boy until I feel the need to throw up which tells me Im in transition. Then to birth her over a blanket placed on the floor next to the bed. Followed by checking her and I over in the bath and washing off. Then returning to bed to nurse her back to sleep. Ideally never waking R. I know this is probably NOT going to happen in this way but it is very very nice to dream about :D. The next few weeks will be spent getting everything in order for her and my family. My house needs some serious recovery from 4 weeks of bedrest/labor. Plus I need to get my van running again and car seats all installed. Lots to do and glad she is being ever so patient now. Hoping to, no GOING to enjoy the next few weeks patiently waiting to meet my wonderful princess!

Finally allowed to nest!


The final nesting stage has hit and Im so excited! Now that Im out of the clear with all the preterm labor crap and scares I can clean til my little heart is content. As most of you know I moved into my new apartment in April. And by the looks of it you would swear I  just moved in a week ago which must have been the same time that random hurricane hit in PHOENIX! lol Cause it seriously looks like boxes and stuff magically landed EVERYWHERE throughout the apartment. My main goal is to get ALL the trash and unnecessary crap out of my house and into the garbage dumpsters. Then I want to wash ALL my laundry and fold and put into dressers or put into a cubby for storage. After that its going through the boxes that have taken over my room and completely taken my wonderfully large closet hostage! Then I think I will tackle the easier tasks, like going through the kids’ toys, clothes, etc. This all does not exclude the scrubbing of every inch of the house and vacuuming so much my neighbors start to complain 😉 Must get everything ready for my little princess to arrive. Im hoping thats why she has only teased me into thinking she’s coming instead of actually showing up early 😀 Im kind of hoping she’ll be fashionably late so I dont have to do this all in 3 weeks lol.

Unusual cleaning tasks I am looking forward to:

Cleaning the shower curtains


Ceiling fan



and…Im sure I’ll think of more 😀

Hit a milestone on the Journey to Re-nursing!


R finally nursed enough to empty one of my breasts a few days ago! As well as, doing away with his pacifier. He just up and decided he didnt want his pacifier anymore and asked for mommy milk and that was that. He hasnt asked for his pacifier since 🙂 He also nursed one more time since then. It was on and off for a few hours while we laid in bed watching Heroes. Im so glad that I decided to try to re-nurse. So many people told me it wouldnt be possible after such a long period of time. But here we are!! So if any of you ladies out there are thinking about it you should DEFINITELY go for it. The journey is amazing if you allow it to be. Many people stress about supply first. I decided to focus more on him bonding with the breasts. Suckling will help to increase supply as well. When baby/toddler first latches on and starts showing more interest THEN start taking the herbs, tea, and pumping. Otherwise you will get a supply established and your toddler might not be interested. If you are just wanting to pump the milk and get them on that in a cup until they are ready to nurse then that will work as well 🙂 But if you are wanting to do the actual nursing then I recommend re introducing your child to your breasts. Its an amazing bond and it feels so loving to have them all cuddled up next to your heart and getting love and nourishment all at the same time! Im hoping he will nurse more often once the baby is born but who knows. We’ll see. If not then at least I will be able to pump and store some milk for him.

If anyone has any questions on how to restart a toddler please contact me and I would love to share my resources!

One Thousand Gifts


I recently came across a wonderful page called a holy experience and the lady on there has started what she calls Gratitude Monday and a list of one thousand gifts God has given her that she is thankful for. Lately I have been down in the dumps…and stumbling upon this was nothing short of a God given sign. So here I am participating in Gratitude Monday. I havent decided if I will only post once a week or everday. But lets just start with today…

  1. My Husband
  2. My children
  3. D’s demanding will to take charge
  4. R’s energetic attitude
  5. Both of my son’s curiosity
  6. To have children that give me a reason to get out of bed every morning
  7. Money to purchase food to feed their hungry mouths
  8. all of my husbands wonderful characteristics and flaws
  9. my metabolism
  10. my internet

Would you care to read how it all got started? I encourage you to browse around on her page as well. She is truly blessed and a blessing!

holy experience