I want to get as close as possible I guess…I feel so much desire to change…to do MORE…Part of me reminds myself to be content with what I have, the other part says do not settle, move forward, evolve, adapt…How do I do that? How do I achieve all that I want to on my own? I read homemaking and homeschooling blogs and a lot of times they leave me feeling empty and guilty instead of inspired. I know whats in my heart. I know what NEEDS to be done with myself, my children, and my home. BUT how am I to accomplish all of that alone? With my husband gone I act as a single mother. Granted I do not have the struggle of working outside the home THANK GOD! But I do have the struggle of a 5 year old with emotional issues, a near 2 year old, and then a new baby on the way. Not to mention housework and playing mommy and daddy everyday. How does one conquer it all? And on top of this I also attend online school. Which I must say I mostly dread and honestly Im not doing well at all and questioning why Im doing it in the first place. My heart so desires to spend every day wrapped up in my children and homemaking duties. Which usually it is…well when I physically can. Right now the pregnancy is taking its toll on me and leaving my spirit beaten and bruised. Not to mention the days are nearing closer and closer to which Im supposed to send my oldest to public school. Something I swore Id never do. It doesnt feel right in any aspect. So now I have this internal conflict. Am I sending him because its what is best for everyone involved, even him? Or am I just not motivated enough and finding myself lazy and selfish and pushing my responsibility as a parent off on people I dont even know? Oh how my heart is weaping lately. All I want is the best for my children. Is that too much to ask? But how oh how do I juggle it all? How do I muster up the strength and ability to play all the roles to my children? I rarely desire time alone, I do not send my kids away, but yet…here I am feeling guilty. I do not feel like Im doing enough…yet I do not know how to muster up the “STUFF” to do want I KNOW I NEED to do for them.
Our adventure going green has been slow moving but fabulous and yet terrifying all at the same time. I say it has been terrifying because of all the facts I have found out about food during my journey. If you are curious about what I mean, do some online research or take a look at the movie Food Inc, which can be found on instant stream via netflix.com.
So far the boys and I have almost completely switched to cloth toilet paper. This was a lot easier than I imagined. Fun as well! I love all the different prints of the fabric! So creative!
We are also trying our best to shop locally and organically. This is going to be the hardest as I am a stickler for convenience and fast food! I ADORE eating out. However, lately not the case, I get sick to my stomach every time I try to eat it. Just thinking about all the horrible stuff in it and done to it. ICK!
Then we took the biodegradable pot from the new herbs I bought and tore that up and mixed it in with the soil.
We are moving into an apartment tomorrow so unfortunately we will not be planting a full grown garden. However, a dear friend of mine is going to be kind enough to let me plant some veggies in her garden if I bring my compost! Great trade off I think!
Look forward to posting more and more green updates!
I also want to add that this was a HUGE homeschooling life lesson for the boys. They learned not only about gardening but about decomposition, worms, food cycle, life cycle, and WHY exactly we are doing this organically! It was truly amazing!
After tons and tons of research my husband and I have finally found a curriculum that will meet all of D’s and I’s needs. It is a catholic curriculum called Catholic Heritage. They have curriculum guides for you to look at on their website so you can see what the lesson plans look like. I really like how the whole thing is set up and that it blends in our catholic beliefs. Im really hoping that D starting school again will help calm his attitude down. I ordered his curriculum today so hopefully it will be here by next week. Then I can sit down for a few days and look over everything and get comfortable with it and then be able to start him on it. I know I should get some arts and crafts for him too. Maybe we’ll take a trip to the zoo soon too before it gets too hot out!
R and I are getting on a better schedule. We are usually up by 9am which is a great improvement! It probably helps that Im starting to feel less and less morning sickness as the days go on. Now I just need to get D back on schedule. He has been off schedule since grandpa got really sick. With my aunt here she is sleeping in his room and he has been sleeping with me. Which is hard for any of us to get any sleep. Hopefully we’ll get the hang of it soon.
We are still waiting to get moved to Germany. It is taking forever and everything seems to be going wrong. But we’ll get there eventually I guess. J is doing good there though he says its beautiful and as of last week it was starting to warm up a little so we might just miss the snowy season this year :).
Tonight im voting bad! I had planned on going to sleep early. But now its almost 1am and I find myself STILL stuck on my computer. Looking up this and that…Its wednesday and I still didnt do any homework. How is it that I can manage to spend countless hours on a dumb computer?! I do not know! But maybe this should be my new years resolution! To not spend more than an alloted time on the computer! Unless of course Im ACTUALLY completing homework! Im sure my house would be cleaner, I would get more sleep, and maybe just maybe dear D would behave better. Although most of my computer hours are spent while the boys are sleeping. I only do about an hour during the day while they are awake. BUT STILL! HOURS! I have been on this thing since 8pm almost 5 hours! Oh the Bible study and cleaning I could get done in that time! Thats it! Tomorrow Im going to sit down and decide how much time I should get a day for the computer. AND STICK WITH IT! Sure its going to be hard. However, its necessary! Anyone else care to join me? You should…Just like the TV its stealing our lives…Yes its just an object and only we can allow something to steal our time. But we ARE allowing it. Its time its stopped! How can I be a good christian wife/mom if Im not even reading my Bible every night! I need to get back on track with school, cleaning, my challenges on here, D’s homeschooling, and last but definitely not least, my Bible reading!
Tomorrow night I will give myself enough time to write an update. Good night dear readers 🙂
Today hubby left to head back to training…bleh, this never gets easy. But oh well. Gotta do it anyways.
Today D is starting kindergarten here at home! We are starting the school day at 9am 🙂 Which is pretty early for us. We had to get up at 530 this morning to get ready to take daddy to the airport.
Next on the list is some cleaning. Im going to get the kitchen done and then take the trash out of the bedroom and bathroom. I probably wont have the time or energy to get all the clothes put away so I will most likely tackle that tomorrow.
Then, it will be bedtime, and time for mommy to do her homework.
Dont really have anything planned for dinner, was going to make chicken noodle soup but idk if Im going to. Not really up to going to the store right now. I have chicken so maybe I will make fried chicken fingers for the boys or something like that.
OH and I need to pay bills. Almost forgot about that with hubby being here. Well, time to get going with my day. Have a blessed day!
And….for anyone wondering. I will probably be starting back up the FlyLady challenge on Monday. That gives me a week to get things back to normal before I rush into things too much.
We have officially decided to homeschool D for kindergarten! Im very excited and feel very blessed!
The curriculum we have chosen is a completely online curriculum through Progress Academy. So far, after looking at all of it online, it seems really great. The only thing lacking is a variety of Foreign Languages and a Bible curriculum. She said that they dont offer a Bible course because they are a secular program. So I am looking for a Bible program for him. It’s a little hard to find one for Kindergarten age, but there are still a few options.
Now, I just have to get organized and figure out what time of the day will work best for him to be focused on school…
Tomorrow me and the boys are heading to the AirForce Base so that I can get my military ID and get all of us enrolled in TriCare! Yay! While we are there Im going to do the boys’ lessons with them. Or thats what I am planning anyways. D is wanting to learn about vikings so that is the lesson theme for now! He is really thrilled about it. On Monday we used his letter shaped paint sponges so that he could spell out the word “viking”. It was amazing that he picked up on how it was spelled on his first try after I spelled it the first time. It was so wonderful! If I would have had him sit down with a pen and paper he wouldnt have wanted to do it. However because it was painting and different. I think next time we will go out in the yard and use rocks to spell out a word or two! Today I found some $3 books at walmart so I got a few. Two berensteins bears books, “Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs”, and “I love you stinky face”. So the boys were excited about that. Also I got a white board that has the seven days on the left side with space to jot down a schedule, then a to do list section then a notes section! I have it propped up on a cubby next to the dresser so when I wake up I see it right away. Also on the list for tomorrow is to do bible lessons with the boys, find some good priced modest dresses online, and get some homework done. Raymond had a hard time getting to sleep tonight. Well first he went to sleep around 8 I think. We always come to bed at 8 but he fell asleep right away. Then woke up around 9ish I think. He was screaming and crying. I gave him his milk and tried to hold him. I thought it was his tummy but nope. Then he kept pointing inside his mouth. I asked him if his teeth hurt and he kept pointing and crying so I gave him tylenol and some homeopathic gum numbing stuff. After that he just wanted to play. He just now fell asleep within the last 20 minutes and its 11:38 now.
I also purchased the Home Management Binder Ebook from Keeping The Home! Im SOOO excited to read it! Ive been wanting to get it for almost 2 years now. Idk why I didnt get it before it was only $10. I finally did it!
Well I must get to sleep. Hope to be getting organized and back to blogging and writing the bible study if God still wants me to.