Early mornings have never been my “thing”. So when my two boys rise before 9am my body completely goes into monster mode. After a few unnecessary bursts of anger and prayers for patience, momma is up and dragging herself into the start of her day. Im not sure how other households work first thing in the morning but I know for us, especially school days, mornings are a four letter word. First begins the arguments of breakfast, clothes, or who is making it to the hallway bathroom first. My oldest thankfully wears a uniform to school but the 3 year old gets a choice for preschool. Then its on to the babies(girls). What to dress them in, how is the weather, and whose diaper is worse?? Very rarely do we make it to school on time. Try as I do to get them all wrangled and out the door on time, it never quite works that way. Mornings as hectic as they are do gear me up for an adventurous day. Most of the time it leads to me and the girls running errands, going to check ups, cleaning, and rarely RELAXING. Our crazy moments mostly involve the boys being home. Four children versus mommy can be a nightmare!
Oh! I forgot to mention the most vital part of my existence missing…my husband. He is stationed in Germany and has entrusted me with the house, kids, pets, and finances. OH how God has given him the trust and patience of a saint! Never could I be so trusting. Nevertheless, it is me he leaves these precious responsibilities to tend to.
You know, for years I have attempted to be the “perfect” stay at home mom. However, if you walk into my house or even pass me in the store, you will see that my aura screams chaos and whimpers of “please God please get me through just this next hour.” For some reason, I think most moms feel this way too. None of us are perfect. Those fortunate enough to have OCD to keep their houses in order should REALLY learn how to “infect” the rest of us. My biggest challenge is organization. Well and I despise cleaning with all my heart and soul! I enjoy a clean house just as much as anyone, however, I would prefer to not be the one doing it. Why am I a stay at home mom then? Well, look at the title..MOM! I have plenty other titles that fit under that besides for housekeeper. I adore playing with my children, watching them learn, and being here for EVERY developmental milestone! I like knowing just what my kids are doing and learning. Yes I would LOVE to have the patience and organization skills to homeschool. Although I don’t think God is ready for me to do that yet, well its either him or my hubby. Learning to let go of the idea of perfection is the hardest part of being a stay at home mom. It completely trumps everything else. As I sit here late in the evening/early morning, I think of the mounds of laundry still haunting me, the dishwasher that needs emptying, the floors that need vacuumed, and the endless list of things that just MUST be done in order to move up on the list of perfection.
My life will never be perfect. My home will NEVER be spotless. I have 4 children and no help! I enjoy every part of my chaos but just remember…If you are sitting at home and thinking “there has to be SOME program/book/club/etc that can transform me into a PERFECT stay at home mom” well its just not so. Enjoy being a mom and then pick up the pieces of life along the way.