Parenting the Parent


Have you ever noticed how many parenting books, shows, blogs, and so called parenting counselors there are out there? Tons! Just Google it sometime and see how much you can find on the topic of parenting.

Several and that’s not to mention the books and “doctors” there are out there claiming to have the solutions on how to tame or change your child not to mention how to put your child on a schedule. Im not saying that all of the advice out there is bad. However, some of it is just being put out there for the people to make money. I’m not going to name any names at all on who I think is putting crappy advice out there. I’m not here to people bash specifically but to help others. Really help others…that’s why I do it for free.

My oldest son D is very hard to deal with on pretty much a daily basis. Some days we are lucky to have a whole hour that is enjoyable. Other days and even weeks are amazing. Then out of nowhere he is back at it. We have tried everything! Now I know you’re probably thinking I hold a grudge against all this advice cause it hasn’t worked for us. No that is not true. I have seen a lot of the advice work for my other son or for other people I know. I am saying that some of the advice out there is not from direct experience with parenting. A lot of “professionals” don’t even have children and if they do their children are in daycare or school all day long. So are they truly parenting their children the way they are telling others to? This is something you have to look at when taking advice from other people. How do they REALLY parent their children. How often can they be home with their children if they are gone on book tours or workng 12-16 hour shifts as a doctor? I think their should be more parenting advice out there by REAL stay at home moms. Now I’m certain someone is going to read this and get really offended and probably show me all the advice that is out there by stay at home moms. I will be most grateful to hear all that you have to show me.

The reason for me getting irritated is the Nanny 911 television show. Now I have seen these nannies do AMAZING work and transform families. However, I have also seen them do crazy things! Take things away from children because they are “too old” for someone’s standards. Or do this or that. The episode I saw tonight really upset me. The mother and father did not agree with what she was doing with their children. Yes, the parents should have stepped in. But why should they have felt so bad about this? To want to make their children cry the way they were over something so trivial as going to bed with milk? We should not make mothers feel bad for choosing to parent different than us. As long as the child is healthy and happy then its no one else’s business. Right?

I know Im not the only mom who has been made to feel like crap after sharing how they do things with their children. I have breastfed, public breastfed, delayed shots, not given flu shots, extended pacifier use, extended night time feedings, co-slept, kept my children in my room til almost 2, put my kids to bed by 8pm(normally), spanked, not spanked, attachment parenting, cloth diapered, elimination communication, you name it, ive probably tried it. Normally it is all about trial and error. My boys are healthy and for the most part happy. D does have an anger and obedience problem but from what I hear its normal for his age. I still dont find it acceptable but we’re working on it.

Now Im most certainly not saying I’ve got it all figured out or my way is the right way for everyone. Being a mother is about listening to your childs needs and yes sometimes we dont know how to answer those needs so we seek the advice of others but if it makes you feel horrible and you want to cry when you are making your children do these things others suggest then chances are its not whats right for you or your children. Only you can truly know whats best for them. Listen to what your instincts are telling you. You’ll figure out just what it is they need from you 🙂


About amotherslove4ever

I am a stay at home christian mother to two boys; ages 4yrs old(D) and 14 months old(R). I am also an army wife to my darling husband J. We are considered "old fashioned" I think. We are homeschooling the boys right now. We have also tried cloth diapers, babywearing, and now trying Elimination Communication. We are christians and we will soon be taking classes to be catholic christians! We love the lord and our family. We hope to have more children in the near future. God Bless. I hope you enjoy our family journeys.

2 responses »

  1. I get the basis of this blog but one comment I would make is about the milk at bed time. Now while yes it is completely parent preferance it is TERRIBLE for a childs teeth to go to bed with milk. Not to mention the disgusto factor of it sitting there all night. Water I would have no problem with if I wasn’t such a nazi about my carpet but never would I put my child to bed with milk or juice or anything of that nature. I think the things that “nanny 911” has to offer are great strategies. Sometimes our kids are going to cry and it’s going to upset us, it’s no different than giving your child that much needed shot when they are of whatever age you choose, they are going to cry but it’s a necessary evil. I have cried while watching my children go through things that weren’t at all something I wanted them to have to go through but ultimately it was what was the right decision. As soon as Breyauna’s room is finished being decorated she is being moved into it and I can tell you now because this will be our millionth attempt that she is going to scream for HOURS. That is painful for me but it, in the end, is what is best. There is no reason for my almost 4 year old to be sleeping in her parents room aside from the fact that we are lazy and have given up fighting with her. Ultimately if I got your message correctly you are just saying to go with your instincts as a parent, with that said perhaps the reason the parent’s aloud the nanny to continue dispite their tears was because they knew that ultimately that was the right thing :D.

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